The world as I see it, tonight.

The last few days have been very tough on me. I might be moving and there are a lot of big decisions I have to make soon. I'm very busy with school and stressed out but I'm keeping a positive mental attitude. Just got back from a 15 minute walk down the street from my house. It's so warm and clear out tonight, couldn't help but soak in the beauty. 

After a few minutes of being out there, some deep thoughts occurred. I started to think that every star that I saw was the sun of an entire galaxy. That tiny and almost unseen light in the sky was something most likely multiple times bigger than the place we call home. Every star out there is part of a galaxy that potentially has or had life on it at some point. I began to think about how small I am, we are. It's amazing to think that people in this small world of ours feel so entitled. As if they actually mean something  significant in the grand scheme of the universe. Our entire solar system is but a granule of sand on the beach of the universe. 

Tonight was a humbling experience. I've been losing touch with myself and notice days passing faster and faster. It's nice to slow down for a few minutes and just think about life. It made me think that we completely create the world we live in. We can live in a deep, dark, and treacherous world where people are out to get us and bad things are always happening. Or, we can live in a world where the people around us have depth to them, a personality. Where you mostly see light with very few black outs. Where you can do whatever you set your mind to, whatever you want to do. We create our world in the sense that the atmosphere that we're part of is 100% our doing. I have friends that I WANT in my life, not that NEED to be in my life. I choose to live in the city, state, country that I live in. I could move to Europe, drop everyone in my life, and start over if I really wanted to. 

I'm so thankful for the people I have around me. As small and insignificant our planet is, it means something to me. Being able to look out into the universe and wonder like I did tonight is something that we take for granted. This world is so small, we can do whatever we want to do. We can choose to lead a safe and steady life, or take risks on a chance to move forward and get somewhere you may never thought you could have gotten. 

I'm going to leave it off on that, just a deep thought kind of night. Much needed. 

Hope everyone reading this is doing well, Carpe Diem.

Friends or enemies?

Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.
Muhammad Ali 

Hey everyone, it's Saturday morning and I had a long day at work yesterday (11-8 PM). I'm about to start catching up on studying and trying to studying for future class sessions. I just wanted to drop off a little note.

I currently have a "friend" who has had a pretty rough life like me, same sort of childhood neglect. We actually lived together for almost 2 years in high school and became very well acquainted. He got into ecstacy and marijuana as well as various other drugs (very occasional for any other drug). He currently only smokes marijuana. But he's struggled in life, I've always been there to try and guide him and show him the way but I've been having trouble lately...

Lately, my thoughts on friend have been, "if they bring you down, let them stay down." I'm at a point in my life where my future is GREATLY impacted by what I do now. I can't afford to hang around people that are just going to bring me down. This "friend" of my, who I once called my brother, is struggling and bringing me down. He's turning 21 in a couple months, doesn't have his license, doesn't have any bills to pay, and the job he has is a job that I got him. I've sent him pictures of used cars for sale with the number that run very well but he never acts on it whatsoever. 

The last few months, the only time he texts me is if he needs a ride somewhere. EVERY TIME. I'm fed up  with it as he has crossed the line by messaging a girl that I've been talking on Facebook. This girl and I have been dating the last 2-3 months and he's never met her before. After of course telling him about my dates and encounters with this girl, he decides to start talking to her. I was texting her last night and in the middle of the text she said, "Oh, I talked to ****!" and at that point, I was angry. 

I don't have any emotional connection with this girl, I'm angry because he's never met her and is trying to talk to her now. He's made more effort to talk to this girl than he has to me in the last few months and from what I've told you, he usually only initiates a conversation if he wants something. 

I am going to talk to him within the next few days and let him know how I feel, it's hard to believe I called this guy my brother...

Lesson, evaluate yourself and your friends. You never know what might be dragging you down in life, it tends to be our friends more than anything. I've been noticing more and more and have dropped people out of my life that weren't as good friends as him but it's getting to the point where I am starting to drop what I thought were great friends from my life. 

Time to get back to the study grind, I hope this helps somebody with friendship problems they have in life. I want to be successful in life and when somebody only makes contact with you when they want something, that's not very friendly. Keeping my head up and realizing this is only a weight off of my shoulders! :)

Have a great weekend everybody!